Now I sit me down to write,
Unknown readers I hope delight.
Yet, when prime motives I define,
It is my own soul to refine.
Last Friday, I attended an offsite training session for my work. I had forgotten to tell the organizers of my diet, so when lunch showed up, as usual, I was at a loss of what to eat. We were offered fantastic sandwiches, chips and a selection of enticing pastries and sweets for dessert. Times like these make it difficult to stay on a diet. Little that can be done inconspicuously in a group setting. I took a sandwich and pulled it apart to eat the turkey, lettuce and tomato, discarding the fragrant, tempting focaccia bread. This practice sparked a discussion around the table on diets, exercise and how we all wish we could stay on them.
One question asked by a colleague stopped me dead in my tracks. As he polished off a large chocolate chip cookie and a rich-looking chocolate eclair, he asked what is my motivation for staying on the diet. I stuttered and stammered over a response. I couldn’t explain it. I wasn’t even sure myself. That question has bothered me for the past two days.
The easy answer is I want to lose weight. However, I have wanted to lose weight on previous attempts, too. Those attempts always ended in failure. There is more to the answer than dropping a few pounds. What about the exercise? I have stuck closer to a regular regimen of running than at any time previously. I had a goal of running 5k, and I made it. It would have been easy to give up so many times. When I started, I thought I wanted to run in a race and get a cool T-shirt. Now that I can make it over 3 miles without gasping like a fish out of water, I have no desire to run the race. I prefer to run alone in the dark, early morning.
When I lived in Boise, I decided I was going to ride my bike to work instead of drive. I bought a bike, cool biker clothes and did it. I rode two or three times each week for over a year. Sure, I wanted to be healthy and save money over driving, but those weren’t the prime motivations, either.
Why have I persevered on writing this blog for nearly a year? Why, even when I have taken a few days or weeks off, have I come back and continued to write? Originally, I thought perhaps I could make some money doing it, but have since learned very few people make money blogging. What is the attraction?
I mulled the question of motivation this weekend, finally pulling it apart enough to come to an answer. Anyone remember the first topic I took up in January as I started? Discipline. I have struggled with discipline my whole life. From a child, I was told I was undisciplined. I spent money as quickly as I earned it. I wouldn’t practice my French horn regularly. I got good grades but wouldn’t study. I couldn’t keep my room clean to save my mother’s sanity.
My adult life seemed just as undisciplined to me. I watched too much television. I started hobbies and didn’t follow through. I drifted on a career path, not knowing what I wanted or having any set goals. I allowed life’s currents to take me where they would.
The turning point, I believe, was going back to school to finish my bachelor degree. My motivation began as a requirement from my boss – get it or else. However, as I discovered the joy of learning, my motivation changed. This was something difficult that I could do for myself. I could do difficult things. In this case, I could take one or two classes while working full time and still being a good parent.
After finishing college, I took on learning the piano. I took up hobbies and developed talent people respected. I began turning pens, not because I could make money doing it, but because it was something no one else was doing and I could make something admired.
It has been the striving to be disciplined that has kept me on my diet, writing the blog and running. It is a drive to do something special that keeps me coming back, day after day. The only way I can prove it to myself is by adding one more link to the chain. I hope to prove to myself someday that I am disciplined and can do great things. This blog is therapy for sorting out my feelings, thinking them through and putting them into concrete form. The diet demonstrates I can stay on something every day, without fail until a goal is reached. The running helps me fight against the demons of procrastination. Sometimes I lose, sometimes I win. Each win is a triumph that leaves me glowing the rest of the day.
This has been a winning year. I am making the progress toward discipline I hoped for back in January. I appreciate the question from my friend. I hadn’t thought this through enough to know what I have been chasing all these years. Now that it has a name, perhaps I will figure out how to declare victory.
Thank you for indulging me in a little introspection. Do you feel you are disciplined? If so, how did you develop it? I would love to hear your thoughts.
by Sherry Turkle 
The elderly also accepted the robots quickly, losing themselves in the illusion of life. Turkle found robots readily accepted as companions, especially to the lonely. They would talk to the robots, confide in them and treat them as if they were real babies, tucking them in and shushing loud talkers. When she began asking the children what they thought of robots becoming caregivers to the elderly, the dichotomy of technology began to be evident. The children at first thought it a great idea for their grandparents to have a robot to help them keep from getting lonely. However, the very next thought was the worry that the grandparents would like the robot more than them and no longer love them. They firmly believed, after their own experience with the robot, it was capable of replacing real people in the lives of their grandparents.
Follow me on Twitter 
