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Archive for the ‘Focus’ Category
Catching up
27
Jun
I went home to Boise for the weekend and was caught up in the whirlwind of trying to get our house back on the market. We were able to get it all done after a full Saturday of work. Denise and I got up at 5:30 and made a trip to the temple. Then, we dug into the chores, finishing up around 9:00. We received a request to show the house Sunday morning, so our motivation was high. I think between the rototilling, trimming, weed pulling, pond cleaning, bark spreading and shop and garage cleaning, I might have gotten my ‘body’ work done. Maybe.
Late Saturday, we received word our offer on a house in Cedar Hills was accepted. I think we confused our agent in Utah with our lack of excitement. We really feel the pressure to sell or rent our house up here now. Yes, we are excited as it is a lovely house and we are really going to enjoy it – once we get all the steps lined up to get there. Clock is ticking.
As for my mind, this weekend didn’t hold a lot of progress. I did get to read the Wall Street Journal. I miss not having it during the week. I started a science fiction book – Anvil of the Stars by Greg Bear. I have a couple other books to read, but I didn’t even get to pull them out. Maybe next weekend.
Spirit Day
22
Jun
Mind: I didn’t do anything special to invigorate my mind. I was too busy with other things. One task took up most of my evening. We are making an offer on a house down here. I hope that we get it because that would really take a lot of stress off my mind. That in itself would be great for me. So, I’m counting it. We will know in a few days whether we are going to get this house or not.
Body: Again, didn’t do a thing yet. I will do a few sit ups and push ups before I go to bed so that I will have something done.
Spirit: I listened to two BYU-Idaho devotionals. They were terrific. The first one was by Kevin Miyasaki. His talk, “Loves Thou Me?“, focused on loving God first and all others second. It was a very powerful talk, especially near the end where he described the death of his wife and their last moments together. It was very powerful and had me in tears, which is not especially good while driving to work on the freeway. He reminded me just how special my relationship with my wife is and how much more special my relationship with my Heavenly Father should be. I have a lot to improve on.
One the way home tonight, I listened to Susan Black speak on “The Last Week” of Christ’s life. It was a very informative talk on the events of the last week of the Savior’s life and some of the background that only a professor of ancient scripture could provide. I learned more than I knew about the events, the fulfillment of prophesy and how it all fits together. I really enjoyed learning more. It created a desire to go back and read those events from the scriptures again.
That’s it for me. As soon as I get this offer sent back to the real estate agent, I will be heading for bed. It was a good day. I had to go in early and it paid off in getting senior executive understanding of the project I have been trying to communicate to them for months. Today, I think they finally heard and understood. Whew!
Day One: Mind, Body Spirit
21
Jun
It is much later than I had hoped, but I am here to report back the results of my first day on the Mind, Body, Spirit challenge.
Success!!
I started the day by not listening to talk radio on the way to work. I got in the car, turned on the radio and was depressed by the talk before I drove the first block. I turned on my iPod instead. I listened to a devotional given Steven D. Bennion at Brigham Young University – Idaho back on February 23, 2010. It was titled, “Fulfilling your Divine Nature”. It was a good talk and a nice way to start the day. There is my Spirit challenge fulfilled.
After work, I mowed the lawn for my wife’s aunt and uncle. They have been so giving to let me stay with them until we move the family down to Utah. The very least I can do is mow the lawn. It is a bit of a workout. They have a small yard (compared to my current acre in Boise), but the elevation change makes it interesting. By the time I am done, I am winded. Body Challenge… check!
I had a lot of things I was supposed to get done tonight, but didn’t get to them. Instead, I read a book I received at work. The book is “Fish!” and is about the Pike’s Place Fish Market guys. They have a lot of fun at work. It has been a long time since I have done anything fun at work . I think I forgot how to do it. It was a quick read. It only took me a couple hours to read. Mind Challenge done.
Not bad for the first day. I have some things I am going to improve upon. I have much to do, but I have started. First thing to improve? Not writing blog posts at 11:50 at night. I already learned that it isn’t a good time to be writing. I write poorly when I can’t see my own eyelids.
Mind, Body, Spirit
20
Jun
I have been remiss in my blogging lately. I have been under significant stress with work and home life lately and have not been dealing with it well. To that end, I had stopped several activities that are important to me. One was this blog. I use it as a therapy of sorts. I don’t believe for a moment that many, if any, people read these posts. However, I need this outlet to help me put thoughts in order.
Anyway, with everything not making progress on “the move”, “the sale” or “the buy”, I am at the end of my rope. My mother always said when I get to this point, I’m supposed to tie a knot in it and hang on. This week I think I got to the end, but forgot to tie the knot. I nearly slid of the bottom. I am thankful for a wife that grabbed my hand as I slid off and helped me get back on the rope.
I was thinking, as I am looking forward to the upcoming Mind Like Monkey posts, one thing I have not done this year is develop any goals. Sure, I have a few long term, fuzzy goals. I don’t have anything that I am working on, day to day. I think this is one of the reasons I am sliding. I could fill this space with quotes about not having goals or direction. I’ll pass for now.
As I was sitting in church today, listening and, I’ll admit, dozing, I began thinking about what kind of goals I need. I tend to make too many goals. I remember a year ago I think I had sixteen or something crazy like that. Needless to say, they didn’t get accomplished.
Today, I am committing to three. Mind, Body, Spirit. Each day I want to do three things and three things only. I will do one thing to improve my mind, one thing to improve my body and one thing to do my spirit. My goal is to record, if nothing else, those activities here each day and analyze the progress.
Today, I went for a 30 minute walk with Denise for the Body. For the spirit, I read one chapter of scripture. It wasn’t much, but it is a start. I will improve tomorrow. For my mind, I am cheating. I am using this post as my mind activity for today. Tomorrow, I will start reading a new book.
Mind. Body. Spirit. I anticipate good results from this simple, three prong attack on the old me.What will the new me look like? Tune into Mind Like Monkey next week to find out.
Un-Focus
07
Apr
I had a revelation recently. Over the last few weeks, I have been writing and thinking a lot on narrowing my focus, bringing more energy to a single effort. However, in the last couple days, I have read a couple other blog posts that have stopped me dead in my tracks.
The first one was by Leo Babauta over at Zen Habits. I heard a podcast interview he gave. I wish I could find the reference to put in, but I have forgotten. Sorry.
Leo said something in passing that really hit home with me. He said one of the more important things to narrowing the focus is to be aware of everything that is outside the focus. Concentrating on one thing leaves a lot of other things outside that used to enjoy the inner attention. They won’t just go easily into the night. They have to be addressed. If that means consciously dismissing them, so be it. But it must be a deliberate action or they will creep back in.
Let’s supposed I have five hobbies I enjoy. (My wife is laughing here, because I have way more than five.) If I decide to focus on just one, I have to deal with the other four. Am I giving myself permission to actually ignore those four? What about the tools/materials/paraphernalia that goes with the other four? Several years ago, I put all my model shipbuilding kits and tools aside to focus on woodworking. However, every time I go in my closet, I see kits on the shelf and think I want to get back into that someday. I am creating an open loop that my mind seizes on like a hungry dog and subconsciously begins to bring it up every now and then, adding stress and noise where I don’t want it.
The obvious solution would be to get rid of the kits and the tools. Perhaps that is the right thing to do. However, I might want to get back to that hobby some day in the future and I don’t want to waste the significant investment. And then I wonder if I really will get back to it. Could I use the money somewhere else? Should I sell it? These are the kinds of questions that run around in my mind at least once a week when I see the boxes on the top shelf. In one paragraph, I have managed to tie myself in knots. Imagine what is going on in the brain subconsciously on a daily basis?
The second article popped up on my Twitter account tonight, courtesy of Augusto Pinaud (@apinaud). He pointed to this article by Merlin Mann over at 43 Folders. Merlin writes in order to truly focus on one thing, you first have to care intensely about it. “Specifically, if you discover, in frustration, that you’re pathologically incapable of doing one thing at a time, consider the possibility that you’ve been unknowingly trying to “focus” on two, twenty, or twenty thousand disparate things that you don’t really care that much about. Just consider it.”
That quote just about knocked me off my chair. Over the past few weeks, I have really struggled focusing on one thing at a time. a multitude of distractions keep crowding my thoughts. I thought it was because I was tired or it was due to stress. While those things may be a factor, I hadn’t entertained the thought it could be due to my desire to focus on too many things.
And what about the last part – the “things that you don’t really care that much about” part? That is the part that gave me the jolt. Do I really care about building model ships anymore? If I didn’t do another ship, would I be missing something? I have admit I wouldn’t miss it at all. After all, I haven’t touched a kit in nearly ten years. The next thought I had was to ask myself why I did I do it in the first place? What motivated me to focus on it in the first place? Are those desires still valid today? What satisfaction would I get today if I were to again focus my energy there? Is it valuable enough for me to keep the reminders close at hand?
I don’t have the answers to all those questions just yet. The key concept, though, is this question: Does the thing I want to focus on mean enough to me to NOT focus on other things? I have collected a lot of things I want to focus on over the years, but I have never decided I am NOT focusing on any thing else yet. I have ended up like the kid in a candy store, completely paralyzed by all the choices, unable to choose anything.
This is a powerful realization for me. I have to think on this some more, but I have a feeling there may be some model sailing ship kits going on sale pretty soon.
Get Up Early For Quiet Time
28
Mar
I am not an introvert, but I do like my alone time. I like to have time without noise or distractions where I can think and just do what I want without interruption. The only time I have available is before everyone else gets up in the morning. I have tried staying up late, but teenagers can always outlast me.
Yesterday, I had a lot of things I wanted to get done. I drew up a list Friday night. I found this works better for me since I usually forget by Saturday morning and then waste an hour or two trying to figure out what needs to be done. In keeping with my post from last week, I tried to keep it to only those tasks that must be done. Still, that quickly extended into a list of a dozen things. From past experience, I knew I was in trouble. I usually can’t get that many things accomplished in a day.
When we were going to bed Friday, my wife asked when I was going to get up. I replied 6:00 to which she laughed. Six o’clock on a Saturday? That helped stiffen my resolve and I made it up by 6:30. That little goading by her probably saved my Saturday. Without the dig, I probably would have been happy to sleep in and give up on my ambitions. Instead, by the time the family was up, I had already completed my weekly review and had taken the car in for an oil change and tire rotation. Two things checked off before 9:00!
The rest of the day went very well and I was able to cross everything off my list except one – this post. By the time I got to it, my brain was too tired and my body too sore to want to tackle it. I felt good about putting it off until today.
Getting up early really helped me focus and get moving before the distractions began. But I can’t do it day after day unless I get to bed earlier. I have two teenagers that thrive on staying up late. That part has to change for me. I have to find ways to go to bed, even when the family does not.
I used to scoff at the people who said they loved getting up in the mornings. I thought it too difficult. I am a night person and prefer staying up late. That part still hasn’t changed, but I do agree with the early risers now. The morning is the best part of the day for getting things done.
Narrowing The Focus
21
Mar
Most Saturdays, I make a list of all the things I need to do that day. This approach is a great one for focusing the effort and getting a lot of things knocked out. However, I seem to take it to far. I make a list that is more ambitious, too loaded for any human being short of Superman to accomplish before night.
And then I beat myself up about how many things didn’t get done.
No matter how much I accomplish, I can’t let myself be happy with that. I only focus on the remaining tasks. It drives my wife nuts. I have checked off a dozen things, only to moan about the 3 things left.
Yesterday, I did something different. I listed only the things that absolutely had to be done. The list was short, about six items long. And I accomplished every one of them before noon. Amazing! I felt wonderful. I played the rest of the day. I didn’t feel guilty about it, either. I was busy. I didn’t waste time, I just did other things. Were there still things left that need to be done someday? Yup. Lots of them. The key word is ’someday’.
Since I am a perfectionist and unrelenting in my critique of myself, I think I need to either lighten up or shorten the focus. I have tried to lighten up on myself in the past. That is a hard thing to do. I think it may take years of therapy at this point. I may be better off just setting shorter and more realistic goals. I get more done that way.
Breaking things into small chunks has long been advocated as away to swallow the whale. The same goes for task lists. Don’t over crowd the day. Pick the small list and check them off quickly. Reload the list when it is done if desired, or just get a pat on the back and go play. It was nice to do that yesterday.
Shut Them All Down, Artoo!
17
Mar
Yesterday I had to do a task I have been avoiding for a couple days. I didn’t know where to start and wasn’t sure what the outcome should look like – two factors that I struggle with in a new job all the time. My inner drive to have things perfect didn’t help, either. It didn’t take much to distract myself and delay it yet again.
How did I finally focus on the task? I just everything else down on my computer – Outlook, Instant Messaging, browsers, anything that wasn’t related to the task. By removing all outside stimulus, I was finally able to keep myself focused long enough to get interested in the task. Once I was able to find a little thread I could tug on for awhile, I was was able to get the entire task done. It didn’t take all that long, either.
One thing that had kept me from starting was all the guesswork involved. Not everything is absolute when planning the future. These things drive me nuts because I like it to be “right”. By focusing, I was able to make educated guesses. I put the rationale in comments so I could remember how I cam to that conclusion later. When I bounced the ideas off the other project manager, she thought them all to be sound guesses. I hate guessing but I learned that I can do it with the best of them. I have a hard time admitting that since no one knows the answer, my guesses are good enough. By recording the reasoning, I will hopefully be able to defend the guesses later.
I don’t think I could have finished this task without shutting down the outside stimulus. When I don’t want to do something, any interruption will do. I will even look for them subconsciously. The trick for me is to rob myself of those distractions. What works for you?
The Family That Focuses Together…
12
Mar
Our house is for sale and that means we get interruptions by real estate agents wanting to show the house to a potential buyer. Don’t get me wrong. We love the agents! We want more of them. Bring all your clients! We want an offer, please! However, each time the phone rings, we all stiffen just a little.
When we get ‘the call’, as we did tonight for a showing tomorrow morning, everyone has to drop their plans and clean. The kids are especially getting tired of it and I don’t blame them. It is tough keeping your room pristine every day of the week. It is like you never get to really live in your house anymore.
It isn’t that we are slobs and it takes hours and hours to get the house ready. It is just an unplanned inconvenience. It takes about a hour to straighten all the rooms, clean all the bathrooms, vacuum all the floors and clean up the kitchen. When we all work together, though, it goes more quickly. Many hands make light work. Thanks, kids!
The lesson is to enlist help when there is a lot of work to do. Offer to help someone else. It doesn’t need to just be family. I saw my neighbor roofing his shed a few months ago. I grabbed my hammer and went over. It was fun. I got to know him better in one hour of roofing than 6 years of living next door. Yes, I banged my thumb and ripped my pants, but it was worth it. Service always is because it generally comes back when you need it most.